it’s taking forever to get to Tuesday, seems like.  the closer it gets, the more scared I am that it will be negative.  all that hard work for nothing, and we will have reached the end of the line.  I almost got out our adoption info the other day, too. there’d be a period of mourning, no doubt, then we’d pull ourselves up by our bootstraps like before.  I guess I’m really just trying to protect myself if the outcome isn’t what we want and so fervently wish for.

reason #57 why to keep your cat out of the room while doing PIO shots: our big fat Manx Gus decided to jump on the bed while I was laying bum-up for Paul to do my shot.  he had the needle in my skin when Gus decided to head-butt Paul’s hand-not a good idea.  he’s such a stupid cat but we love him anyway!

PIO shots have been so going well (except for the one I gave myself in the thigh that hurt like a mofo) I’m almost afraid to think it, much less say it out loud.  everything I’ve heard about them sounded horrific, but so far, so good.

not sure how I’m going to make it to the 27th…

we have fertilization!!!! they actually got 7 eggs, 4 have fertilized and they are watching 2 that are lagging behind and may fertilize as well. transfer is set for Thursday at 12:30.

we have 6 eggs. pleaseohpleaseohpleasegod let them all fertilize

still in the game, roller-coaster going up, etc, etc.

E2 went up to 1132: good.

4 follies on right: good, 6(?) on left: good.

got to sign a consent form for retrieval: good.

Dr B mentioned possible retrieval on Monday or Tuesday: good.

left follies need to catch up, right follies better not get too big: bad

still a chance conversion to IUI: bad

P leaves Wednesday evening for Boston-could possibly be there for transfer: BAD

next scan Saturday morning…stay tuned for any further developments.

674, up from 375, it’s still a go for now. next check on Thursday.

it’s a crapshoot at this point whether this IVF attempt will even happen, not much going on after 6 freaking days of 2x/day stims. I think the only reason why I don’t know that for sure today is that I saw the nurse, not my dr. u/s with him and more b/w Tuesday morning…the nurse only measured 1 follie and said there’s a bunch that aren’t measurable yet. it’s been a pretty crappy day. E2 is 375.

feh-yesterday’s bloodwork doesn’t sounds promising, E2 of only 160. more bloodwork and an ultrasound tomorrow. nothing is more exciting that getting up early and slogging downtown to the hospital on the holiday. that poor responder label is rearing its ugly head again…

whine I’ve been poked 19 times since Fridaywhine